


Happy AU

by LinesAndColors



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Gen, I don't know what I'm doing, Inej's dad is Struggling, Jordie gets to live, Kaz and Inej meet as kids, Kaz is a prideful little shit and I love him, Kids, basically i want them to be happy, me overanalyzing everything, me talking in the notes way too much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:21:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28428477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LinesAndColors/pseuds/LinesAndColors
Summary: Cannon divergent like, a lot. I wanted an AU where everyone gets to be happier and like less traumatized but I didn't want wanting modern either so here we are.Basically all six end up joining Inej's family's act turning it into a whole circus. Still will have some cannon events just rewritten but for the most part I want to write them just existing as the kids they are. Sure they won't be perfect and without past trauma, but at the very least they won't be so traumatized that having friends is comparable to miracles.Is also an exercise in figuring out what part of the characters personalities are due to trauma and past experiences and what are just core parts of them. Mostly Kaz because as much as I adore ruthless Kaz, I do wonder what he would be like if he wasn't forced to grow up in a ruthless environment.He's still stubborn and prideful and thinks he's better then everyone is what I've determined and I love him.
Relationships: Kaz Brekker & Inej Ghafa, Kaz Brekker/Inej Ghafa
Comments: 28
Kudos: 22





	1. First Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, feel the need to explain myself so the ooc personalities don't seem like me just completely rewriting the characters to whatever I see fit.
> 
> For Kaz I'm trying to take away what is because of Trauma and what is not. I don't think he'd be as murder hobo ish if he didn't have that back story but I also think he's still naturally smart as a whip and very prideful and calculating. Those things done come from trauma. So he's not going to be the depressed 'mess with me and you'll lose a hand' mess he is in the books but he's also not going to be some happy go lucky normal kid. He's still gonna be a weird kid who has a strange fascination with crows and magic and Will Not Hesitate to challenge you if he thinks you're dumb and he thinks everyone is dumb.

It started when he was six and she was five. 

The small boy with dark eyes still had a father and still maintained some of that youthful happy gleam. Dulled perhaps a bit by the absence of his mother. He still spent his days trailing after his father trying to mimic and make himself useful and fighting with his brother over who would be the 'man of the farm' when they were grown. (Jordie insisted he was older but Kaz thought Jordie too stupid to run the farm)

And the small girl with invisible wings still stared up in wonder at the sky and longed to be up there. She still saw no ill, protected and loved by her parents and family. She spent her days watching tricks and helping around and begging her father to let her try. Still listened with wonder to each lesson or wisdom her parents gave, still knew somewhere, inside, defiantly, that she would fly someday even if she was too young to fully understand how. She was never meant to stay on the ground.

Yet by chance something changed. Perhaps an idea coming to her parents at night, perhaps a kind audience with a generous payment, perhaps word of demand on the true sea, perhaps all three, but as they would have it, Inej found herself on her first ship, bought and manned by her parents, learning to walk and to sail with her cousins as her parents ventured outside of Ravka seeking more places to perform and more land to see, and where else better then Kerch they told her, describing it as a country tied to their Kruge, and who better to give the poor materialistic people a distraction then their traveling act.

And so, eager and excited the family set foot into the new land, and with the help of some dockers and a map, planned out a route across the main land of the country.

The boys on the farm caught wind of an act coming through and begged and _begged_ their father to let them go, and the man, haggled and worn by life, agreed with a sigh. The small family set off early morning after chores were done the first day the act was to be in town, traveling in their wagom down the long dusty roads off the farm, the two boys buzzing with excitement. They never reached the town though for as they traveled down the solitary paths, up ahead sat a colorful caravan with people dressed in silks with bronze colored skin, mulling about, chattering amongst themselves in a language the boys could not understand.

Their father pulled his carriage to a slow stop besides the caravan, asking in broken Ravkan (much to his sons' astonishment) if something was the matter. After a bit of back and forth conversing the boys watched with growing disinterest, their father finally turned to them and explained the peoples' caravan had broken a wheel quite badly, and he got off his wagon to help, leaving the boys with nothing to do and curiosity bounding.

It didn't take long for the two to grow bored and get off the wagon themselves, hopping about and watching these strange newcomers chatter and move around, gawking at the silks and bars and beautiful equipment like nothing they'd ever seen before and small Kaz wondered, for a second, if they were magical, something out of a storybook, brought to life by some miracle, but before he could think too much of it he caught the flash of another kid darting about on the other side of the caravans, the only detail he was able to catch where the braids disappearing behind the silks.

And so off he scampered, rounding the carriage, leaving his brother who was busy being entranced by the colors, and chasing after this braid. As he rounded the back he starteled as he found eyes staring right back at him, and a young girl watched him, holding onto a corner of the carriage with only her head peeking out, watching him warily.

Kaz after blinking a few times and checking back around to make sure his father was still there, cautiously approached the girl, "Hello?" He called out causing the young Inej to grin a bit at the funny word. Kaz, affronted that he was being laughed at, huffed and crossed his arms, "Who are you?" He demanded with all the force a six year old could muster.

Little Inej could only giggle, having met many different types of people in her five short years but the sounds of the Kerch were just so strange, all harsh consonants and clipped words, even stranger to hear it from a kid, one who seemed to grow only more frustrated at her giggling. "This isn't fair you have to talk back that's how it works." Kaz said, throwing his hands up in frustration at how this girl refused to talk to him like a normal person.

"You sound funny." She said, still not understanding a words he was saying, and Kaz, hearing the swooping words, finally realized she might not know Kerch and his small mind was blown. 

"No no, like this," he responded, "Hello, goodbye, how are you, like that," and watched her expectantly waiting for her to suddenly start speaking in Kerch.

She just blinked in confusion at him before looking up at his brother as he came up behind Kaz and snorted, "Kaz that's not how it works, they speak a different language. Dad says it's Ravkan," he paused for a second, "or, well, something like Ravkan," he shakes his head, "Dad explained it better. But we know Mrs. Sarai, and she speaks Ravkan, so it's something like when she's talking all weird." And Kaz looked between the girl and his brother as he took that in and then got huffy that his brother knew that and he didn't. Storming off to find his dad he decided maybe all this show business wasn't all it was chalked up to be. 

Inej watched him stomp off, still confused about what just happened, before deciding it was best to follow him, after all there wasn't much for her to do while her parents try to sort out the broken wheel and the older one was just standing there looking at the carvings on their carriages. So, stalking the other kid it was.

Kaz after looking around and spotting his dad, walked up to him in a grouchy fit and pulled in his shirt, "Can we go home." He asked pleadingly, not wanting to spend another second here, and beamed as his father answered in the affirmative.

"Yes, actually, we are heading home, these folk need to help getting a new wheel and they're gonna need a place to stay. We need to get home to get the other horses and help move this caravan along but don't worry, we will be home before you know it, and with guests. Isn't that fun." His father continued on, unaware of the horror on his sons face as Kaz realized not only was he not going to escape but these strange people were coming with them, and sure, maybe under normal circumstances he would be thrilled with the new company and entertainment but as it was his pride was hurt and thus he thought they were all boring and pointless.

And so in a huff he climbed onto his father's wagon and sat there to stew, startling as the carriage rocked a bit while another person climbed on and looked over to see Inej sheepishly looking back up and embarrassed she got caught.

"Oh not you again." Kaz whined. Annoyed that this was his future for who knows how long, at least a week probably and that was a very long time. With a groan he sat back into the carriage and bemoaned his misfortune. With any luck after a week they'd move on and he'd never have to see the strange girl again.


	2. Jordie Needs and Gets a Hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ghafa clan comes back to the farm and, well, it had to come eventually. Seems there's one less Rietveld this time.

The two kids, despite a rough start, grew thick as thieves in the week the Ghafas stayed, much to the ire of everyone around them. Kaz's cleverness combined with Inej's ability to sneak around and use her cute charm to dissuade suspicion, was quickly figured out and utilized by the two, and suddenly sweets and breads went missing, clothes and jewelry were found stowed away with toys, and small pranks sprung up conveniently against whoever happened to say "no" to the two last.

Eventually though, the Ghafas had a new wheel and had done enough shows in the area that it was time to move on. Both Inej and Kaz loudly protested, Inej trying to convince her father that they could keep Kaz as one of the show animals, and Kaz trying to convince his dad it really was a shame he had no sisters and they could really use some extra hands around the farm. Both arguments fell on deaf ears and the day came where the colorful caravans jostled down the road away from the farm for the last time that summer.

\--

The humble farm became a regular stop for the travelers after that and every year the two boys got to see the performers at least twice a year and the Rietvield and Ghafas became close friends.

Thus, when tragedy struck three years later and the Ghafas came into town, they were stunned to see the farmlands unkempt and a sign by the road stating the farm as for sale. With a sense of dread they traveled down the road toward the old farm house, the couch of the gravel beneath the wheels the only sound they could hear. Their worries only grew as they crested a hill and they could finally see the farmhouse, spotting mourning signs apon the building, black curtains and the dried chrysanthemum hanging on the door, petals littering the porch where they fell off.

Little Inej, now eight, only caught a quick glimpse before she was ushered back into the caravan, and her heart raced as she heard her father climb off the cravan before them and his footsteps recede toward the house. She had not seen or dealt with the death of anyone close to her yet and tears began springing up in her eyes as she wondered if she would now and she found herself viciously praying it was, at least, not Kaz, though her heart ached with guilt for it. 

Time stretched for what seemed an eternity as the family waited for news from her father, breathing naught a word. So as the farm house creaked back open and her father stepped out, the family was too eager to hear of the news for anyone to realize Inej had stuck her head out of the caravan to see again.

With a great sigh of relief that tinged on a sob, she watched as Kaz and Jordie followed her father out toward the caravan, and her elation caused her to take a few moments to notice the black garb they were both in and the dull reddened eyes of both of them. She shrunk back as she realized their father did not exit with them and started crying in earnest as she realized what must have happened.

"He's dead isn't he!" She cried out, the first words to break the silence of the group, and one of her older cousins turned to shush her, tears in his eyes as well, but old enough to be aware their grief was dwarfed by the Rietveld boys'.

Ignoring the two she continued to cry, pushing away arms that tried to grab her or hug her, as all she could think about was the rising war of guilt, grief, and relief she felt as she hopped from the caravan. She needed to be sure the two boys were truly okay, and she deftly avoided the adults who tried to stop her and landed lightly on her feet. As soon as she hit the ground she barreled toward Kaz, who still stood stoic and dull, his teeth grit and arms wrapped around himself behind his brother. As soon as she reached him she tried to give him a hug, only to stand in confusion and growing distress as he jerked away from her, face storming.

Jordie reached a hand out to her shoulder and softly explained, "Don't mind him too much, he's barely said a word since fa-" his voice cut off in a chocked sob and Inej immediately turned around to instead wrap her arms around him, crying softly as she felt his chest spasm with his attempts to keep the tears at bay.

She stayed there until she felt someone gently grab her shoulders and start to tug her away, her mother's soft voice saying behind her, "Come, let's get inside, they need rest." And with her words the family left the caravans and moved inside, bright colors of their clothes a stark contrast to the dark black of the boys in the middle.

\--

Inside the air was suffocatingly somber and even as she felt her tears dry, Inej remained buried by her mother's side, sitting on one of the chairs she'd been happily climbing over while chasing Jordie just last year, not knowing how to handle or process this whole ordeal. She listened silently as her mother and father gently coaxed the story out of Jordie who continuously had to stop in the middle of his words to choke back the breaks in his voice as he tried so hard to be strong. Her cousins, much closer in age to him, sat on either side of him, hands fluttering awkwardly over his back as they tried to comfort him.

Her father sat on the floor in front of Jordie, hands clasped around the 13 year olds, occasionally rubbing over them comfortingly when Jordie got too choked up to speak. The rest of her family sat around in various chairs, some brought in from the kitchen, and a few of the younger ones sitting on the floor on the old rug Inej could remember sitting on in front of the fire as Mr. Rietveld taught her a card game so she could play with Kaz and Jordie with out being beaten every time.

She looked up and over the back of her mother's shoulder to where Kaz sat at the top of the stairs coated in shadows, looking down on the whole group with impassive eyes and she couldn't help but shudder a little bit at the sight of him. She suddenly recalled a story her cousins told her once, late at night when they weren't supposed to be telling her scary stories but did anyway to scare her, and she remembers them telling her about an old tale of monsters who were once men, normal people corrupted and twisted until one night they finally awoke with twisted arms and bleeding eyes, seeking out new victims to drag down with them.

She couldn't help but feel like Kaz looked a little like that, like a kid somewhere between a person, and something else. Inej tucked her head back into her mother's side, taking comfort in how her mother's arm tightened around her.

Eventually it was drawn out that Mr. Rietveld died in an accident with one of the field machines. Jordie refused to say anything more then that and judging by the look her parents exchanged, Inej didn't want to know anymore. They learned what happened in the days after that, how the townfolk had come by and helped get his body and make sure the boys had what they needed, they learned about the funeral and the things of their father they had to sell. And she felt her mother give a silent gasp as they learned Jordie had planned to sell the farm and everything else he could to travel to Ketterdam to find work there.

After he said that her father spoke up to cut him off for the first time, voice made of stone, "No. Of course not. That is a city of gamblers and merchants. It's no place for a good person and certainly no place for children."

Jordie looked, for a second, as though the wanted to argue, but ultimately he just slumped and nodded, and with a small, roughed voice admitted, "I don't know what to do, I gotta take care of Kaz but I can't run a farm by myself." 

Her father patted his hands, and sat up on his knees to thread a hand through the boys hair, "Here's what you do, you and Kaz pack up what you need, and you let me and Mrs. Ghafa handle selling this farm while you two rest, you've had a tough couple of weeks. Once this place is sold, we will put the money away into one of the bank's here in town for you two to have when you are old enough to be on your own, and until then, you'll be coming with us. There's always room in this family for you. And we could always use some more hardworking members like you two."

Jordie looked up at her father, eye shining with wetness and a painful hope. Once he processed her father was serious and knew they would be safe, his face crumpled as he finally let go of the tears he'd been trying to hold back, falling off of the old couch and onto her father's lap in an awkward heap, hands clutching at the back of his shirt as he sobbed. Her father just held him and rubbed his back and whispered reassurances.

Inej, suddenly very glad for her dad and relieved that he was able to help Jordie, looked back over her mother shoulder to where Kaz had been, but found nobody there, just shadows from the darkened hall upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Happy AU" 
> 
> *proceeds to spend entire chapter on the grieving of their dad*
> 
> I did not intend to spend this long on their dad's death nor did I intend to accidentally cry while writing this but here we are.
> 
> Do I know where I'm going from here? No. Do I have any idea how I'm gonna get the other four of the six into this? No. Am I gonna do the smart thing and actually plan a plot and figure this stuff out? Of fucking course not.


	3. Kaz Would Just Really Rather Not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, listen, I swear I did not mean to make this nearly as sad, long, or in depth as it turned out to be. Really didn't intend to spend much time on this at all, originally was just going to have it be basic narration through this time and their lives
> 
> But no, my writing fingers don't listen to me and do what they want so here we are. I'm sorry, I swear we will eventually get to happy days. Eventually.

Kaz sat, breathing in the stale air of the mostly empty room, much of the storage in the attic already having been taken and sold. He sat, with knees tucked up and arms wrapped round them so he could rest his head on his knees, and he stared to the other side of the attic.

A circle of glass stared back, sunlight casting a cylinder of light onto the floor, dust particles floating slowly through, and Kaz sat, far away on the other side deep in the shadows because the sun seemed too bright to him. The day too nice, the caravans out the window too colorful when everything in the house and in him felt anything but.

Breathing in deeply in a short sigh he once again felt the pinpricks of tears in his eyes and found himself too tired to care about the itch they caused rolling down to drip onto his knees. And so, he sat, staring at the window and the light that mocked him and he wondered what it might be like to be one of those dust spots. He thought it might be nice, just floating, in and out of the light, and nothing more.

But he wasn't a dust particle, he was a boy and he sat in the attic and stared at the window, and watched the dust because anything was better then thinking. He was sick of thinking. He was sick of thinking about his dad, about Jordie screaming and crying as he came to find Kaz, about how he tried to keep Kaz back when he told him but Kaz couldn't believe him and needed to go see, to prove it was all a prank. He was sick of bursts of blood and things he had no words for popping like explosions in his head and the sick feeling they brought with them. He was sick of thinking about Jordies plan, about leaving the only home he's ever known and the tremors that proved to him that despite how much he wanted to be dust, he was still a boy, who sat, and stared down the sun's rays because the only other option was being terrified, and crying, and he was so sick of crying, and so sick of seeing his brother try not to.

And he tried, he really did, to listen to the others, to stay in the too bright lights of the windows downstairs, to be there with his brother because his brother was the only thing that made any sense anymore, but he couldn't, the sun was too bright, the suli silks to colorful, and hearing his brother choke as he recounted the chaos and terror of the last few weeks was too much to bear. 

So, Kaz sat

In the attic

And stared.

And that's where he remained, time slipping over his hunched back in indecipherable ways, until the sound of footsteps, slow and light, came from the stairs.

For the first time since he came up here and sat, he picked his head up, looking over to the attic trapdoor and expecting to see his brothers head pop up, and maybe that would make it okay, maybe he could be a dust particle then, floating in and out of his brothers presence, because his brother had _ideas_ and he said they would be _safe_ and Kaz thought he was a moron and wanted to scream and shout and tell him all the reasons they should never leave the farm but at the end of the day, they had nothing, nothing but Jordie's ideas. So that's what he'll do, he'll float around as Jordie moves and he won't fight or argue or at least he will try not to, and maybe that would make it okay.

But it wasn't Jordie's head cautiously looking up over the edge of the trap door, small hand holding it barely an inch above their head. It was Inej. And Kaz didn't want to think and Inej would make him think so he blinked at her once and laid his head back on his knees, and he sat, and stared, and the ever so slowly shifting light and dancing dust kept thoughts away.

She was still there though, annoyingly enough, and if Kaz had the energy to, he might even be mad. He thinks he should be mad. This feels like something that should make him mad, and there's an echo somewhere in his chest that feels like an empty box that should hold the mad but it's just not there, and he's tired, and not mad, and not thinking, so he just sighs again, still ignoring the wetness on his face that didn't even itch anymore, and he sits and pointedly ignores the light ghost like whisper of Inej walking toward him.

He could practically feel her from here, all the sad and the confusion and the fear seems to radiate off her, or maybe that's him, and she's just ruining his floating dust and making him think again. He listens unwillingly as she sits down next to him, and he thinks he should probably say something because Da would say it's rude to ignore Inej every time she does something Kaz doesn't like, but Da's not there so, Kaz doesn't really feel the need to follow his rules. Doesn't really feel the need to do anything.

And apparently neither does Inej as she just sits there, not saying anything, and it's kinda grinding on Kaz's nerve because he can't hear her, not even her breathing so she might as well not be there but he swears he can feel that all the weight of what she wants to say bearing down on his back and eventually it's finally enough to break through and scrape like flint against the steel inside him and he finally feels a spark of anger enough to grit out a harsh, "Go away."

Inej doesn't respond for a few moments and Kaz can almost pretend maybe she's not there, but then she speaks and it's not at all what he thought she was gonna say.

"Are you turning into a monster?" She asked, voice quiet and timid, and it's enough of a surprise to rouse Kaz into lifting his head to look at her like she's crazy. She squeaks and startles back a little bit as he suddenly looks up at her and she looks scared and Kaz can't figure out why and that's making him think about why, and think about what she could have meant by monster, and now he's thinking and this I exactly why he _didn't_ want to talk to her.

When it's clear she's not gonna say anything else he just deadpans a "What?" at her, which does not seem to help and she just looks more frazzled and like she's going to cry and for the gods sake Kaz is so sick of seeing people cry. He drops his forehead back on his knees and wonders, for a second, if Inej is some punishment sent by demons for something he did wrong like his Da used to warn him about, but that makes him think about the things he's done wrong, which makes him this of Da yelling at him not to do them and all the times he didn't listen and now Da is dead and it's all to much and Kaz starts crying quietly again, griping around his legs tightly as he tries to get it to stop.

And even through all that he can _still_ feel Inej staring at him and a part of him echos in hurt pride as he thinks of Da sitting with him after he sprained his wrist, and telling him 'Chin up, come one, be a tough one, men don't cry, and I know my little boys stronger then any hurt wrist.' and the kind smile he had on his face when he said it which just sets Kaz off again and the crying is starting to reach his chest and now that's spasming and it's hard to breath which makes the whole thing worse and he just wants Da to come up here and get him and tell him it's okay, no need to cry, no need to be strong but that's not happening all he has up here is dust, chests, and Inej who _still_ hasn't said anything.

"If, if youre not," Kaz starts, trying to push the words through his hiccuping chest, "gonna say anything, jus, just go away." And instead of that she does the exact opposite and comes over and touches his back and he doesn't want to be touched by anyone but his Da right now so he just uses his feet to turn his body away from her and hopes she takes the hint.

Which she doesn't, because she's Inej, and she's been the bane of his existence since she first showed up here and now she's basically draped over him in what he's pretty sure is supposed to be a hug but it really just feels like she's laying over his hunched form, and he wants to snap and bite and hiss and be mad but the spark in his chest blows out before he can and he just sits, and cries, and wishes Inej would leave him alone while also being so glad she's there and he's still frustrated and annoyed with her but she's warm, and she's kinda almost hugging him and for some reason that loosens the knot deep in his chest just a little. 

It's enough though, enough for him to stop clutching his pants so tight, to let his legs straighten out and uncurl his back which makes Inej, still draped over him, awkwardly slide off and grab him around his neck as she tries not to fall off, which only succeeds in choking him and pulling him back with her, and they both thump on the ground, and for the first time since his Da died Kaz finds himself laughing.

It's not a pleasant laugh, and it kinda hurts, and there's also tears which he's pretty sure doesn't go with laughing but he can't stop, and it helps loosen that knot in him a little more, and Inej starts laughing from under his back where he's fallen on her which just makes him giggle harder in an uncontrolled harsh kinda way, and he clutches around his sides, curling up with the giggles, and he hears Inej giggling too, and her laughter doesn't sound right either, it sounds harsh and like she's gone crazy, and maybe they have and they'll go to one of those scary hospitals for the crazy people and they'll just laugh there too and steal candy from the other crazy people.

Eventually the laughter dies down and the two just kinda lay there as the sad comes crashing back. Kaz almost goes back to staring at the dust, almost goes back to sitting, and not thinking, but Inej says from behind him, "Can we go downstairs?"

And for some reason, that no longer feels like such a bad idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, Explanation on the characterization of this
> 
> Kaz:
> 
> I went back and read the two chapters that covered the bulk of his back story to see what small Kaz was like during this time.
> 
> What I gathered was, Kaz was strangely quiet. There's very little he did or felt, he mostly just followed Jordie and played quietly by himself in a room where someone told him to stay. (And I say play lightly cause practicing magic isn't exactly a normal form of play, in fact I'd call what Kaz was doing an obsession but that's a story for another day)
> 
> He makes friends with a little girl his age and gets a tiny child crush on her (and can I just mention the fact that literally all three of Kaz's crushes were girls his age who were nice to him and seemed to want to be his friend, like, I'm not saying that seems like it might be indicative of a deeper problem buuuuuuut) and that is one of the only emotions he has.
> 
> He really has four emotions during this time
> 
> \- Fear all the time  
> \- Frustration that one time cause he wanted to see the magician (I'm telling you, this was an unhealthy obsession for a nine year old)  
> \- Crush on the girl who was nice to him and only one around he could actually really interact with  
> \- And a bit of happiness that one time when they were all singing
> 
> So, the way I interpreted this was
> 
> In response to his father's death and uprooting of his life, Kaz shuts down into a numb depressed sort of state. He latches on to Jordie and follows him blindly because he's a scared nine year old with no other source of comfort. He just kinda lives in a number state of watching everything and just existing in each present moment and taking them in as mere facts.
> 
> Which may explain Kaz's later behavior as depression can sometimes express itself in anger instead of sadness, where someone has taken the Big Sad and turned it into Big Mad, and that combined with Kaz's already established need to obsess in order to not think about trauma and cope, and you get yourself one mad motherfucker who's gonna take a bitch down brick by brick
> 
> Add in a crazy high intellect and *mwah* you got yourself the perfect recipe for one Bastard of the Barrel


	4. In Which Kaz Discovers Magic (Begrudgingly)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, I'm not super happy with this chapter and I'm sorry. It came out all disjointaled and weird for me, probably because I spent so much time rereading all of Inej's chapters to get a better feel for her character and yALL Inej is *so* hard for me to write. Most of her chapters are used for action anyway so it's not even focused on her! It's focused on describing the environment and what's going on! I frankly found some of my best clues as to her personality in *Nina's* chapters.
> 
> And even now, as I have a whole list of things I noted about her and her personality I still feel like I don't really know how to write her.

The next week passes in a blur for Kaz. There's little snippets of time that stick, pauses in the speeding world. He remembers being told he and Jordie would be joining the Ghafas, he remembers the grin on Inej's face and the look of determination in his brothers eyes. He remembers wishing he could join them in their emotions.

There's the moment, stuck in his head, as a man in a suit shakes Mr. Ghafa's hand, the farm officially owned by the man. He can still feel the echo of the rip of agony that tore through him in that moment. He remembers Hanzi, Inej's cousin, taking him out of the house before Kaz burst, wanting to yell at the man to leave and never come back.

He remembers portraits in his head of the full Suli Camp. The others that traveled with the Ghafa's. Colors and silks adorning every temporary tent. (Like Dust, a part of him considers, floating in and out of the towns.)

Most of all he remembers the quiet.

There just wasn't time between the planning and the farm and the shows to entertain a nine year old boy. So his days were consumed in some silent room or quiet corner, by himself picking some spot on the wall to fixate on and trying not to think.

And then Inej happens, as she always does. He sat in one of the Ghafa's living tents, watching the entrance flutter back and forth with the gentle breeze, and then a figure of reds and purples comes through the small line of sunlight, the gleam casting an outline of light around dark skin and Kaz thinks, for a second, this must be similar to what angels look like.

And then he realizes it's Inej and he's busy wondering if it's too late to crawl under the table so she leaves him alone. She comes in beaming in excitement and that hard glint in her eyes that comes when she's got an idea and he knows there's no stopping her. Normally, that'd be fine, except those eyes are pointed at him which means she's probably gonna make him do something.

"No." He says as she opens her mouth to say something, and she pouts for a second before huffing and staring him down.

"Kaz that's rude and you know it. Now come on I have something I wanna show." She responds in accented Kerch and part of him kinda wishes he spoke Kerch like that but most of him is annoyed at the fact that she just leaves after speaking. She just goes, not even checking to make sure he's following, like she just expects him to listen no questions asked. 

(He conveniently doesn't think about all the times he's done the exact same thing.)

And so he sits there, determined not to let her win. It doesn't last long though, cause now he's got curiosity pricking at him and watching the entrance of the tent is suddenly boring and so, with a dramatic huff that nobody heard, he stands up and walks out of the tent to find Inej.

Almost immediately he wants to go back inside because he finds the girl standing outside the tent with crossed arms like she _knew_ he would just follow her and it doesn't matter that she's right, he doesn't like it. But, she turns as he exits and smiles brightly, all shining eyes, and he _supposes_ he can indulge her this time.

With an arm gesture he waves her forward. "After you." He says in Suli, taking the weirdly polite mannerisms of the adults that he doesn't understand, and coating it in enough scorn to wither a weed. He gets a small thrill of satisfaction watching her triumphant look sour into annoyance.

"So, where are we going?" He asks after she leads him between a few of the tents. His eyes dart about to take in everything around him. He hadn't had much chance to explore the full camp, only ever seeing the performance tents and the Ghafa's living tents back when they saw the show during summers and lately he just didn't see a point in exploring. However, something about being in the sun and seeing all the silks and the fluttering of colors, small twinkling of light casting off little bits of metal here and there made him rethink that. Every tent seemed to be different and it fascinated him. 

Not that he was gonna admit that to Inej.

"So, I remember Mr. Rietvield taught you guys cards right?" And there's the crash of grief. He hopes Inej gets this over quickly so he can go back to the tent. "Well, the Zeburyas can do really cool stuff with cards! It's not games it's," she cuts off as she tries to think of the Kerch word for whatever she's trying to say. Eventually she just shakes her head, "You'll see, come on!"

And with that she grabs onto his wrist and starts pulling him forward at a much faster rate then he had wanted to go, and if he had the energy to be mad he thinks he would probably pull away just go prove a point. As is, he just kinda wants to get this over with.

Eventually they reach the aforementioned Zeburyas, a different family that often travels the same routes as the Ghafas and she leads him to where Mr and Mrs Zeburya are leaning against crates, entertaining a small gathering of mostly suli children. Kaz is immediately put off by the fact that this is, apparently, a show for children and he's pretty sure he's far smarter then any of the wide eyed kids sitting before him. 

So, he rolls his eyes and crosses his arms and casts a disinterested look at the older couple, refusing to sit down. The look on his face quickly morphs into rapt attention though, as he watches Mrs. Zeburya make a card disappear. Just, gone. One moment in her hand, fluttering between long nimble fingers and then just, not there anymore. She shows the front of her hand and the back of hand and _it's not there._

Kaz thumps to the ground, legs crossing as he sits, and he stares up at the couple in sheer fascination as they continue to play with the cards, making them disappear and appear in other places. (He giggles a little with the other kids when Mr. Zeburya pulls one of his cards from Mrs. Zeburyas hair and dramatically accuses her of stealing.) They eventually move on to more advanced tricks, somehow reading minds and pulling cards out of the deck that the kids pulled out earlier. They did one where Mr. Zeburya showed ten cards, all different faces, and then spun them about in his hands and then they were _all the same card,_ and Kaz's mind is utterly blown.

He's so busy focusing on the Zeburyas' movements to figure out the trick that he doesn't notice the small happy smile Inej wears, watching not the couple, but her friend who finally has a little bit of light in his eyes again.

>\---<

Kaz moves forward with the passion and fixation of an addict searching for their next hit. He spends every minute he can working with his father's old deck, watching himself in the mirror, making the card disappear, testing the angles, seeing what else he can slide out of view. He pesters the Zeburya's so much for new tricks and skills that they start just having him follow them around as they preform in the hopes he'll be satisfied. Every time Inej comes around to try to play, he tests his tricks on her, watching where her eyes go and thrilling in pride as he moves things around in plain view that she doesn't see because her eyes are in the wrong place.

It may be real and based in skill and logic but Kaz cannot deny there is definitely something magical about it all. Inej, however, is less amused with constantly being his test audience.

She didn't find it in her to be too annoyed though, because she had her own little project. Her father was finally letting her try the wire down on the ground after months of pestering. While Kaz found magic in the skills of his hands, she found it in her feet, in the grip of the rope, the sensitivity in it, the way every shift is echo'd by the rope beneath her, like a dancer who matches her every move and it's exciting and fills her with a new, ever-growing love and passion for it every time she gets back on the rope.

It gets to a point where the two of them 'play' together by Kaz sitting leaned up against one of the poles that holds the tight line that Inej walks, practicing his magic while she practices her wire, light chatter and 'watch this's passing by between them. 

One day, as he sits and watches Inej float above the ground from the corner of his eyes, passing a card back and forth on his hand with a practiced skill he no longer needs to watch, he notices the high sun above them and the tall grasses in the fields around them. The colors of the camp behind them, and he thinks of the road and the towns he's seen and the two months it's been since he left home and for the first time since then, he considers, maybe, just maybe, this can be home too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hsjdbejdbdjfndn "Give me story" I tell my brain
> 
> "No" it say back
> 
> "Please" I say
> 
> "No" it say again
> 
> "I beg of you" I pled
> 
> "Fine" it say
> 
> "But there will be four lines of diolouge, random name drops, and run on sentences that don't go anywhere and it will make you question if you should even be allowed to write." it sneers
> 
> I cri.


	5. Kaz Thinks Everyone is Stupid (Except Maybe Inej, but Don't Tell Anyone)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, I'll be honest I struggled real hard to write their voices for this one. I, I just kinda went for it and this is what came out. Low-key might just rewrite this entire scene in the future.
> 
> And there's not so much happy Kaz as there is sassy/spiteful Kaz, which, is like Kaz's baseline mood so we're getting there.

Eventually the day came, after the boys had gotten used to the family and the traveling, after they'd begun wearing the suli silks and slowly started piecing together the language, that Mr. and Mrs. Ghafa decided it was time to start bringing them into the business and show as well.

The Ghafas were acrobats, through and through. Inej's father and uncle being the heads of their family, had passed down their skills and passions to their kids, and Inej and her cousins were already showing glimmers of potential to surpass the skills of their parents. So, it seemed only natural to at least try the boys with the trade.

Mrs. Ghafa voiced her concerns on Jordie's potential, him having the broader build of his father, but she seemed assured that Kaz's lean frame would suit the skill wonderfully, and there was no harm in teaching the other and seeing if he might take to the air anyway.

And so, Mr. Ghafa brought the boys out to the edges of the camp one early morning, and, with no lack of pride in his eyes, set about teaching the boys the fundamentals.

It took about a half hour for him to start regretting it.

While Jordie faced every instruction with a nod and a determination to do well and prove himself, Kaz met every direction with questions, wanting to know why, and the specifics of how. The boy would not budge from his stance of staring Mr. Ghafa down with crossed arms until Mr. Ghafa had satisfied his need for explanation.

By the time they got past basic stretches and stances, everyone involved was already sick of each other.

"Now," Mr. Ghafa started, "One of the most important things you will ever learn, whether in acrobatics, or in life, is how to fall. When yu-"

He was interrupted by Kaz staring at him with obvious doubt as to his intellect, and giving a slightly incredulous, "what?"

Barely holding back a sigh, Mr. Ghafa turned to the boy prepared for whatever new question he had, but was instead faced with a strange glint in the boy's eyes before Kaz looked over to his brother who stood next to him, and then leaned back, letting gravity pull him down backward. Jordie quickly moved over to catch him with a bit of an exclaim, and Kaz, now hanging limply with his brothers arms hooked under his, stared at the man in front of him, and waved out his arms to the side in a mock 'ta da' gesture.

Mrs. Ghafa choked a bit in surprised muffled laughter from where she watched, sitting on a parked caravan with a map in front of her.

Mr. Ghafa took a second, and then calmly responded, "No Kaz, not like that. You need to learn to fall from a height."

That was, apparently, the wrong thing to say. Kaz, looking more determined then ever, silently straightened himself up and walked back toward the camp, the two others following him in confusion. Once there Kaz began climbing up a series of wooden boxes stacked apon each other, and a couple seconds too late, Mr. Ghafa realized what the boy intended.

"No, Kaz, no. Not like that stop." He said in a rush, trying to grab the boy as he climbed higher. He quickly realized that Kaz would reach the top before he reached Kaz and so instead hurried around to the drop off, standing below the tallest part just as Kaz got up there and stood at the edge. As Kaz stared down at him, Mr. Ghafa had a brief moment of panic as he realized just what they had signed up for when they took the boys in, and then Kaz stepped out onto the air, and plummeted into the man's arms.

"Kaz, you _know_ that's not what I meant." Mr. Ghafa said wearily once he was sure the boy was safely back on the ground.

"You said we needed to learn to fall, we already know how to fall." Kaz responded calmly as though he hadn't just cast himself into danger just to be defiant.

Mr. Ghafa finally let out that sigh and mentally prepared himself for the very long road ahead of them.

\--------<>\---------

Kaz was, not having the greatest morning. When Inej had come to him in an excited flurry of colors, eagerly informing him that he and Jordie were going to be taught just like her, this isn't what he had expected.

On the farm everything had a reason, every chore got something done. This was, nonsensical. Kaz had yet to be convinced as to why standing with his feet shoulder length apart was so important, or why it was important to stretch your _fingers,_ or why Mr. Ghafa was so insistent on talking about everything like there was some deep life lesson to be learned from it.

Sure, stretching was a small thing that built to a result over time, he could get that. And sure, the explanation that knowing specific poses helped with control, it didn't really make sense, but he could accept that.

Learning to fall was where he drew the line. 

Suddenly all of Inej's weirdness seemed explained to him, if this is what her dad was like. He hadn't had a lot of direct interaction with the man, him being too busy taking care of the family or caravans or show, and Kaz preferring to be somewhere quieter, either thinking (it wasn't sulking no matter what Inej said) or practicing his cards.

After he felt he had proven his point with his demonstration of just how easy it was to fall, whether from a height or not, he figured that would be the end of it, but no. Mr. Ghafa was _insistent_ that they learn the proper technique to a controlled fall.

Kaz was about a hairs breadth away from just storming off from this insanity when he caught a small flash of movement from behind one of the living tents a little ways behind Mr. Ghafa. Narrowing his eyes to figure out what it was, he realized Inej was watching and his mood soured even more. Of course not only would he have to suffer this drivel, but Inej had to be here to witness the humiliation as well.

Then he noticed her gesturing toward him and he tilted his head in confusion of what she wanted. He still half mindedly payed attention to where Mr. Ghafa was showing Jordie the specific way to curl up in a forward roll, but watched carefully as Inej backed up a bit before running forward and then dropping into a roll. She popped up in a tight stance with her arms out in a flourish before turning to him with a proud grin. 

Okay, _now_ he was into this whole, learning to fall thing. He waved his hand in a circle to gesture for her to do it again, so she did, slower this time, and he watched carefully, picking apart what she was doing and the way she moved as she repeated it a few more times.

Reviewing it in his head and mentally plotting those same movements on his own body, he backed up a bit from where Jordie and Mr. Ghafa were now standing and talking about, something, Kaz didn't particularly care. Once he felt he had enough distance, (and in the back of his mind he acknowledged he now had the attention of the other two) he ran forward as Inej had done and jumped a bit before dropping and tucking himself forward.

The was a brief flash of panic before he fully hit the ground, but then the back of his head and shoulders made contact and his momentum carried the rest of him forward into the roll. He didn't manage to pop back up or even land on his feet, just ended up sitting on the ground with his legs sprawled out in front of him, but he could hardly care much. He'd done it, and pride rushed through him. He didn't even have to be shown the specifics by Mr. Ghafa like Jordie did. There was a bit of a scratching in the back of his head that urged him to keep going, to perfect it like Inej, but for the moment, he was content in giving Mr. Ghafa a defiantly cocky grin.

\---

For the rest of the morning he continued to practice it, glaring at Mr. Ghafa the first few times he tried to come over and give pointers, and the man pretty quickly learned just to let Kaz do his thing and focus on Jordie. By the end of the day he'd managed to get into a tight roll that didn't unravel as soon as he hit the ground and even managed to land on his feet a few times. Inej bouncing with excitement and giving him thumbs up from where she was.

Eventually Mr. Ghafa announced that was enough for the morning and told them he had to go manage the camp. He also told them to relax and get some rest and Jordie followed after with a nod.

Kaz instead headed straight over to where Inej stood, still buzzing with excited energy. As soon as he came within earshot she darted forward to get closer, "Kaz! Let me teach you! I'll be just as good as dad I promise! I know all about this stuff!" Her pride and determination seemed only to amplify his own, and for once, he agreed easily, eager to get back to it until he knew he had it down.

Inej grabbed his hand and dragged him around the edges of camp toward where the hill dipped down toward a stream. 

"Why over here? The field seemed fine to me." He asked as soon as she settled down. 

With a confidence she saved for her wire practice she straightened herself up, and gestured with one arm toward the hill, her other hand on her hip. "When you fall, you have a lot of speed, and just like we learn to fall, we also have to learn to stop ourselves when we fall." She responded, words precise in a way he knew had to mean shes repeating what Mr. Ghafa must have told her. A part of him prickles at the idea of Mr. Ghafa's stupid instructions being involved in any way, but when Inej seemed so confident and happy, he figured it was at least better then her father's calm lunacy.

"Alright, show me how." He responded, meeting her confidence as he too gestured toward the hill. This was different then his cards, those were a fascination, this, this felt like _purpose._

And so the two spent the day on that hill, tumbling down, and working new skills into muscle memory, Inej burning with the pride of, for once, being the teacher and getting to see Kaz learn because _she_ was good at this, and Kaz feeling like the future ahead was once again, somewhere to go. They tumbled until they were exhausted and bruised and grinning ear to ear as they walked back to the living tents, confident that they were going to be the best the family had ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Iiiiii don't know what I'm doing 
> 
> Okay so child Kaz, still a prideful little shit right? But in the books he had a calm elegance about his resistance against others. But then again, that's nearly-grown traumatized Kaz
> 
> I figure young Kaz would have been a lot more emotive and straightforward about his opinions on people.
> 
> This is supported, I feel, by the passage in which he explains what his life was like in the weeks after crawling out of hell. He was told he couldn't have a job, and rather then argue he just walked off and cut a kids feet before going back like nothing happened.
> 
> So, here we have Kaz walking off to throw himself off of some crates before just going back now that's he feels his point has been proven.
> 
> I'm not sure about his interactions with Inej? Cause like, book them; Inej wouldn't really have taken on a teaching role but at the same time, they functioned under a boss/employee relationship for much of the time. Here, they are on equal footing.
> 
> It's mostly the dialogue that's tripping me up, I can't get a feel for how they would talk, because it wouldn't be the smooth metaphorical talk from the books, they're children.
> 
> I dunno man. I probably over think this. Also I have no clue how to write Inej's parents.
> 
> Though Kaz learning how to do it from watching Inej is totally justified because that's how he learned to pickpocket and magic tricks. No one showed him and he didn't just trial and error, he watched others do it until he could pick apart how they did it.


	6. Inej Dealing With Kaz's Bullshit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaz drags Inej out way too early in the morning and she is Not Happy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Important Note: words that are underlined between two dashed, like this "-words-" Are words spoken in Kerch because I didn't know how to signify what was a different language.
> 
> Okay okay okay I'm sorry for a few things. 1. A comment on the last chapter mentioned teasing and like, absolutely that was always part of the plan but when I went to write them I realized I have like, no grasp on how they talk, their personalities? Yeah, I think I've got a pretty decent grip, but not the way they talk. So I need to reread their scenes and study their speech patterns and that's gonna take a while so in the meantime have a short and sweet tidbit where I tried my best.
> 
> 2\. Also, I, ah, don't know how to approach the fact that they speak different languages. The third chapter I had Inej talk to him in Kerch with like, a few places that are said slightly different from the usual way, which I don't think I did a very good job, and then last one I didn't mention it but they could really be speaking either. Mr. Ghafa would be fluent in Kerch and Kaz didn't really say any particularly complicate sentences. So, I'm trying here, but this is the first time I'm trying something like this and as with any skill it'll take practice so I'm sorry.
> 
> 3\. I read back through and realized I've done a terrible job at conveying how much time has passed and where. And I genuinely have no idea how I'd try to naturally add that information to this chapter. So, have a timeline in the notes instead because, I, have nothing better.
> 
> First Meeting: Inej 5, Kaz 6, Jordie 9
> 
> Jordie Needs A... And  
> Kaz Would Just...: Inej 9, Kaz 10, Jordie 13, Springtime
> 
> In Which Kaz...: A week later, Ending comes as two months pass, Summertime
> 
> Kaz Thinks Everyone...: Is set a few months later which is what I failed to detail, Kaz and Jordie have fully integrated into the family even if they don't really feel like a part of it, Beginning of Fall
> 
> This One: Like a month later.
> 
> I'll be working on getting better at showing the time pass clearly and the dialogue so hopefully those will get better as I go along.
> 
> Also, sorry for the long beginning notes haha

Kaz popped up by Inej's cot, safely tucked in a living tent. Shaking her awake, and watching her groggily blink and focus on him, he held a single finger up to his mouth. Teeth flashed behind it, a devilry giving his eyes a glint in the darkness of the tent.

Inej narrowed her eyes in a silent question as to what sort of insanity made him wake her up before the sun. He just stood and backed up a few steps, turning to the side as he went, and gestured with his head for her to follow. 

With a roll of her eyes, she sat up and tried to rub the sleep out of them. Kaz, having moved over to the exit of the tent, began tapping his foot, watching her with an eyebrow raised. In retaliation she took the time to slowly stretch, enjoying both the loosening of her muscles and the annoyed disappointment on Kaz's face. She just flashed a grin back at him, standing up and then once again, stretching out her legs and back.

She looked at Kaz and found herself satisfied with the scowl. Giving her shoulders and arms one last shake she walked up to him, innocence in her face and no acknowledgement of his frustration. Once she did, Kaz turned and left the tent with a weary sigh that reminded her of her dad's sigh when Kaz was being difficult. In fact she's pretty sure that's exactly where he got it from. She rolled her eyes and followed him, a fond amusement sitting with the annoyance at Kaz's dramatics. One last longing look at her parents still sleeping, and she exited the tent.

Kaz led her out of the camp, which was already bad enough, but when he started heading for a farm's field that sat on the other edge of the field they'd set up in, Inej had had enough, and stopped, crossing her arms. "Kaz. The sun has barely touched the sky. It is cold. I'm not following you out to some empty farm."

Kaz stopped and didn't bother to face her as though her complaints weren't worth the effort of turning. He responded with a flat voice, "And here I thought it was midday. Would you rather I lead you to a," he paused as his knowledge of Suli faltered, "-particularly fascinating,-" he continued in Kerch before switching back, "piece of grass?"

"Blade." Inej responds in that same flat tone of voice.

This time he does turn to her, "What?"

Letting her arms drop and trying not to let her annoyance at him dragging her out there show on her face, knowing he'd take it as her judging him for his mistake--and being all the more tempted to look up to the heavens in tired exasperation for it--she responded. "It's blade of grass, not piece."

The spike of defensive pride in Kaz could be seen in his expression for a second before he calmed himself down and schooled it, "blade of grass then. Would you like to look at the grass?"

Throwing her head back a bit as she groaned, "No Kaz, I do not want to look at the grass." She lifted her head back up to look at him, "I might be more willing to follow you if you could stop trying to be dramatic and just tell me what you're leading me to."

Kaz blinked at her, giving her a look that obviously implies he couldn't care less, before straightening up and facing back to the distant plot of land, "That'd ruin the -surprise- Inej. Don't you like things like that?"

"Sure," she responds with disagreement still obvious in her voice, but she does start walking again, coming up next to him as they walk side by side, "but preferably no surprises when it's dark enough to require a lantern," she gestures to the one he carries and lets hang by his leg, "and when it's starting to get cold enough to use furs."

"It's -adventure- Inej, there's no sense of -thrill- if there's no risk or," he pauses for a second, "difficult," he says slowly, running the word over his tongue to make sure he says it right, "parts."

She sighs, "Being cold is not my idea of adventure." 

"Then you have a terrible sense of adventure." He says deadpan, like it's a fact he's informing her of. It's slightly ruined though, by the last word stumbling a bit in his mouth.

She gives a noise of indignation, turning her head to give him an aghast glare, "You're the one who decided it would be fun to try to catch fish with our mouths! You're no better."

Kaz actually looks affronted by this, "I was _six_ Inej! And you thought it was a good idea when I -suggested- it. You -have no soapbox-"

Inej blanked at that one. "What?"

The two stopped walking to stare at each other, Inej waiting for an answer and Kaz realizing he had no idea how to explain. Both of them trying to figure out how to cross this particular language barrier. 

"Just," Kaz started, looking down and shaking his head in frustration, "you can't -criticize- me because you are no better."

"I criticize you _because_ you've dragged me into dumb things like that."

Kaz just blows a shot of air out his nose and gives up, continuing toward the field. "You keep telling yourself that."

Inej wanted to smack the back of his head.

Eventually, despite Inej's protests, they did end up at the field, Kaz leading her down the lines between the plots of land, empty from a recent harvest. At some point he stops and crouches down, picking up pieces of leftover wheat that fell off the stalks as they were cut down. Inej dropped down to do the same, both picking through the debris silently before Kaz decided they had enough, and stood up to carry on, changing his direction.

"When did you even get the chance to come out this far Kaz?" Inej asked, trying to figure out when he would have had the time between their practicing.

"I come out during the morning, same as we are doing."

Inej shook her head, before asking, "But why?"

Her face fell as she watched Kaz suddenly tense up as he walked, face going blank and eyes distant. She had been getting better at avoiding things that made Kaz think of his dad and she couldn't understand what she did wrong this time.

"I was bored." Was all he gave as explanation, the words clipped.

The two fell silent again, walking through an empty plot and, Inej now noticed, toward a forest line. Kaz blew out the lantern as they approached, the sun not yet over the horizon but still offering enough light to see by, and they entered into the woods.

Woods wasn't quite the right word for it though, the trees were spaced apart, the undergrowth short and not particularly wild, and Inej just found herself even more confused as to why they were there when Kaz stopped in a seemingly random location.

She looked to him with questions in her eyes only to find him gazing up at the tree tops, obviously looking for something. She joined him, hoping to find some answers there, when she heard it. The raspy cry of a crow. Glancing over at Kaz in time to see his face light up a bit at the sound, she knew she was correct in her guess.

Still didn't understand why they were there for crows though.

She watched the branches above them, almost bored, and then noticed a crow land on a branch, looking down at them for a second before looking around in general bird fashion. Then another one landed, and another. Eventually there were about ten crows cawing to each other on the branches and looking down at them.

She looked to Kaz to find him looking very pleased with himself as he watched the crows, before he turned his head to look at her. "The wheat," he started, pointing at the handful she had, "Throw a little bit on the ground."

Inej really wanted to hit him. He'd dragged her all the way out here to feed crows. Crows weren't even a very pretty bird, they always gave her the chills with their grating call, and there were plenty of birds that gathered in the field much closer to the camp. But Kaz seemed excited and was grinning, which was far better then the blankness from before, and she decided to humor him, and threw out a scattering of wheat.

The crows didn't come down though, just looked at the wheat and back at them, and whatever else they looked for around them, and Inej almost asked Kaz why when one finally flew down in a graceful glide, landing and pecking at the wheat.

Kaz tossed a bit of his own to them, happy in a gentle sort of way and while Inej couldn't understand why, she supposed she was glad they came out here, if it made him this happy, and went back to watching the crows as they slowly came down.

Occasionally one of the two would throw in a little more wheat, setting the crows off into a brief chorus of caws and just watched them, no words exchanged as the sun slowly climbed it's way above the land.

Eventually Kaz broke the silence, "They didn't come down at first because you're here." He said, almost softly, switching fully into Kerch.

Inej tilted her head at him, not sure if he was insulting her or trying to explain something but before she could ask he answered, still watching the crows with a fond smile.

"Crows are smart, that's what Pa said. They remember people. They know who shoos them away, who ignored them, and who feeds them. They tell each other. So, if you feed them enough, eventually the whole murder will know you. I had to be told because I used to try to catch them back on the farm and one started pecking me when I would go out so Pa had me feed them every morning."

He looks at her, amused grin flashing, "I hated it. It was so early and most days they didn't take anything anyway. But eventually they decided I'd been forgiven and would gather to eat every morning. They even started to bring random things to the place I would stand to feed them. And Pa says they remember you for years, even if you go away."

He cut off there, smile slipping, obviously thinking about something but not saying it, before he grinned again, this time his usual mischief. "They're cool, and I bet, if I feed them long enough, I could get them to attack someone for me. I don't know how, but I'd figure it out." He giggled a bit at his own idea, "just a whole murder of crows going at someone. We could use them to distract your uncle when he's packing up the pastries, and then grab as many as we wanted."

Inej rolled her eyes but still smiled, "That's awful Kaz, you can't attack him with crows just because you want pastries." Inej responded, switching the conversation back to Suli.

Kaz whipped his head around to look at her, face aghast, "I don't see why not! They wouldn't hurt him, they'd just scare him. It's a good idea." He seemed almost petulant by the end and Inej gave a short giggle.

"Because it's mean Kaz, like catching crows. He will remember you did it and be mad later."

Kaz threw his hands up as he turned to leave, their wheat gone and the crows starting to disperse. "Must you make everything into a life lesson?" He complained, which only served to amuse Inej more.

"You need as many lessons as you can get Kaz." That earned her a good old fashioned glare, and, as they walked back continuing to argue and talk, Inej couldn't help but think this was a pretty good way to spend a morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm trying not to make it obvious some parts are only from a single persons perspective, just kinda give that feel so that transitions don't feel jarring.
> 
> If you read this and don't mind, I'd love to know if I'm succeeding or not. And if not where the noticeable or jarring change happens, you don't have to be specific, just a general "that one part where [basic idea] happened"
> 
> <>
> 
> Anyway, ending notes because I'm terrible at shutting up. With the whole language stuff, I imagine the family often talked to the boys in Kerch when they were still actively grieving and trying to get used to the change so there was one less difference they had to get used to. As the months have passed I would assume they've still talked to them in Kerch but have begun teaching them Suli bit by bit, even if the main language they speak has been Kerch.
> 
> By this point they've tipped over the middle of the switch and are now speaking more Suli then Kerch so for a while now the boys have been actually using Suli for as much as they can rather then just experimenting with it while learning, but they are not fluent as, unlike Inej who has had four years now to learn Kerch, they've only been at it for almost half a year. So, I'm trying to convey that? But if it feels too forced, feel free to tell me.
> 
> Honestly any criticisms are highly welcome as I'm trying to branch into more casual styles of writing with my fanfictions because most of what I do is horror and stream of consciousness. 
> 
> I hope they still feel in character.
> 
> I've made Inej less calm/cool-headed and wise cause she's still young. And Kaz emotes a lot more and is a lot more susceptible to giving into those emotions. And hnnngggggg trying to make them sound between small child and teenage them is d_i_f_f_i_c_u_l_t, I don't have a whole lot of experience with that age group. They're old enough to have their own opinions and are by no means lacking in ability to speak or understand more advanced concepts, but they're also still very inexperienced and still have to be taught a lot of things and learn how a lot of things work. They can start saying things intentionally one way or another to convey things (like sarcasm) but they wouldn't be nearly as eloquent or good at it as their teenage counterparts.
> 
> Also, something I'm proud of, that I'm not sure people would notice, Inej tries to use a word that Kaz doesn't know and has to replace in her response so he can learn without feeling embarrassed by having someone constantly interrupt him to give him the right word. She does that once because she's annoyed and isn't up to trying to be subtle about it. But I liked adding this because it kinda reflects how in the books, she's always backing him up from the shadows, even if she's annoyed with him or doesn't agree with what he's doing. 
> 
> Ugh, I wish I could go through and explain every decision I made and everything I did but I do need to shut up. I just hope they're all making what I want them to make.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't post constantly, at all, so I could post another chapter today, I could post another chapter five months from now. Who knows what'll happen, I promise nothing. I will say I love this book series more then words can say and if has been years since I first read it and I still come back and obsess over it all over again every now and then so, maybe I won't abandon this who knows.
> 
> I will say outside validation in the form of kudos and comments go a long way in motivating me to write again though. Just saying.
> 
> Also yes, I post short chapters because I'm add as hell and otherwise I'd never finish a chapter.


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